ValueSpeak
A Weekly Column
By
NATURAL, ORGANIC, 100 PERCENT WHOLESOME HUGGING
According to a friend of mine named Andrew, there are six basic
essentials of life: air, water, food, clothing, shelter and hugging.
Yes, that's right. Hugging.
This isn't just Andrew's opinion. He says he has scientific evidence
indicating that every human being needs four hugs per day to survive, eight
hugs per day to maintain life at a strong emotional level and 12 hugs per day
in order to flourish and grow.
I’m not sure which scientists made this discovery or how they conducted
their research. I don't know if one standard length hug can be replaced by two
quick squeezes, or if one mondo super supreme hug can
fulfill your minimum daily hug requirements all by itself. I only offer this
information because this is being written on National Hugging Day – January
21st – and I’m all caught up in the hugging spirit. And I think you should be,
too – as hugger or huggee.
Frankly, I'm glad to see that hugging is finally getting its due. I come
from a long line of huggers. Mom used to hug away our fears. Dad used to hug
away our hurts. My oldest sister Jean used to hug me when it was Mom and Dad
who I was afraid wanted to hurt me.
When we were really, really angry with each other, my sister Kathy and I
used to hug each other until we couldn't breathe. That's because we knew we'd
get in trouble for hitting, but we never got in trouble for hugging. We told
Mom we only did it because we loved each other so much, but the truth is, we liked to see who could be the first to make the other's
face turn blue.
For most people, however, hugging is less combative. In fact, Andrew's
scientists – whoever they may be – insist that hugging is downright healthy.
This is probably because, as Andrew says, "hugging is natural, organic,
naturally sweet and free of pesticides and preservatives. Hugging contains no
artificial ingredients. It's 100 percent wholesome. No calories, no
nicotine."
I don't know about that, but I do know that hugging helps. In fact,
sometimes it's the only thing that will help. A few years ago I was serving as
a lay minister in my church, and I spent a lot of time with a troubled young
man in the congregation. He was a good kid with great potential, but he kept
using that potential in negative ways. He usually started out with good
intentions, then he would make a bad choice or a dumb move, and before you knew
it he was hip deep in difficulty.
One night I visited him in jail, and he looked helpless and frightened.
His parents were weary of his escapades, and were unwilling to bail him out.
His friends had deserted him, and his girlfriend wouldn't talk to him. He was
embarrassed, frustrated and completely alone. I wanted to say something to help
him feel better, but I couldn't find the words. Silence hung between us like a
rain-soaked hammock.
And so I did the only thing I could think of to do: I hugged him. At
first he just stood there awkwardly and let me hug him. After a few seconds he
tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let go. The longer we stood there hugging,
the more he relaxed.
Then I heard him sniffing. Then his shoulders were shaking. And then he
was sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.
I wish I could tell you that this moment changed his life. The fact is, his life is still a work in progress. But that experience
was a turning point in my relationship with him, and in my ability to have
influence.
I’m not saying that hugging is a panacea for all of the world's
problems. It won't create peace in the
Whether you're the hugger, or the huggee.
# # #
— ©
E-mail Joseph
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